Life is Grace

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do/ with your one wild and precious life?” (Mary Oliver)

Yay!!! My computer is back, after a major and horrendous CRASH which took some time to fix. Well, actually I’ve had it back for over a week, but I’ve been too wiped out to post anything. I am STILL wearing the neck brace (my boa constrictor) when I have to stand or sit upright for any length of time. I don’t need to wear it as much, though. The pain is better than it was, although the knots in my neck and upper back are worse than ever, and are spending a lot of time raising hell. I’m finally off the vicodin and instead am taking a heavy duty muscle relaxer called soma, which certainly somatizes me (if that’s not a word, it is now!) but doesn’t seem to be unwinding my knots much.

The good news–yes, there is some–is that I’m now seeing a totally kick-ass physical therapist to deal with my chronic upper back and neck pain. I love her, I do, I want her to come and live with us. She’s the first PT I’ve ever seen who actually GETS how much pain I’m in all of the time, and she’s helped me understand the roots of the pain. Basically, the rod I have in my back from my scoliosis surgery, the scar tissue ditto, and the fact that I still have a significant degree of both scoliosis and kyphosis, all combine to make it impossible for my muscles to lengthen and stretch normally and force them into contorted positions, etc. Ow.

The other bad news–of course there’s more–is that my asthma has been really nasty the last week or so. Apparently ragweed season is here, because my hayfever has kicked in full force, triggering my asthma. Fun. It’s been bad enough that it’s hard for me to move around, every time I do, I get short of breath and start gasping. Poor Fiona is getting TOTALLY freaked out, and is requiring much cuddling for reassurance.

If anyone has any prayers to spare, I could use some, I think. Also, I am very lonely, so phone calls are also welcome; I am always hesitant to call people I know who have things going on, (ie. everyone) because I know I’ll call at the wrong time (a special gift of mine…) (Was that rude? I hope not, I’ve said that before, so I hope no one is offended.)

3 thoughts on “my computer is back!!!!

  1. LutherLiz says:

    Barb,I’ll certainly keep you in my prayers. And you can always email me. If you are feeling up to getting out of the house, I’m always up for coffee or lunch or whatever. I hope things improve!LizP.S. Asthma sucks, doesn’t it!

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  2. Emilie says:

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  3. Emilie says:

    I’m so glad you’ve found a PT who “gets” you, Barb; that’s important. I’m keeping you in my prayers … and I hope we can find some time to get together before the Lemmondrop is born. 🙂

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