Life is Grace

Seeking the Blessings in the Chaos

There is an old saying that when God closes a door, He opens a window. And every once in a while, it seems to come true…

I went in to see my doctor a couple of weeks ago for a medication recheck and, somehow, the conversation drifted to babies. Our Philippines adoption plans fell through earlier this summer–not only are they no longer accepting applications for toddlers, but, according to our adoption counselor, they are about to add medical restrictions. Just about every country we’ve looked at now refuses to accept parents on anti-depressants. The only country that would possibly accept us is Russia–for a price tag of 30 grand+ and therefore not even within the realm of possibility for us.

So I’m crying, sharing all of this with my doctor, when suddenly she said, “Barbara, have you thought about trying to get pregnant again?” (I should explain here that we did try for a few months about two years ago, after consulting with a genetic counselor and a perinatologist. However, at the time–this was before I went to my beloved pain clinic–I was having chronic migraines. Not exactly conducive to babymaking. So we quit and decided adoption would be easier. Little did we know.)

According to my doc, all the signs indicate that I’m still fertile (I’ll spare everyone the gory details) and, despite my seizure disorder, history of depression, asthma, etc., the risks are manageable. I’d still be considered a high-risk pregnancy and need to be under the care of a perinatologist, but chances are more than good that we’d have a HEALTHY BABY!!!!!

The biggest risk to the baby is neural tube defects, such as spina bifida. This is thanks to my anti-seizure medications, which change the way the body uses folic acid; however, taking 4 mg of folic acid by prescription drastically lowers the risk. Yes, gals, that’s 4 MILLIGRAMS. And it’s been proven to work! (Otherwise I would never even consider pregnancy.)

So our quest begins. If anyone has any advice for me, PLEASE don’t hesitate to share!!! I figure that in a way I’m lucky after all that all of my friends have had babies before me–lots of experienced women out there for support!!

And if we can’t have a baby this way, then we’ll adopt through the MN Waiting Children Program. So come hell or high water, we are going to have a family!

12 thoughts on “a window opens

  1. This is exciting! I read that Iman, after two failed IVFs, remembered the African tradition that claims holding a baby for a day boosts your chances of becoming pregnant. So she did this and it worked!


  2. Oh yeah! What great news!! For getting pregoo. We use NFP (we don't believe in bith control, so knowing the body is KEY in getting, and not getting preggo.)One of the biggest lessons I learned from all my reserach was that is is not good to be "active" every day when trying. Just as it is bad to wait for a week or so until you ovulate (things don't swim as fast if they are "old") The best way is to go every other day in the 5 days before and after your peek ovulation. If you don't know what that is or don't want to figure that day out – just go "every other day for three months" is kind of the rule among my friends. Best of Luck!!


  3. This is wonderful news! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!Could you PLEASE pray for me too? I found your blog several months ago. My name is Maria, I'm forty three, and I have endometriosis stage four. I've had two surgeries so far. The hubby and I have been TTC for two years now.I have some advice. One is to go to your local GNC and pick up something called "Fertility Blend" for women. Another is to see if GNC sells flax seed oil. I hear both can help women trying to get pregnant.I will be praying for you!Your friend in Mass.,Maria 🙂


  4. LutherLiz says:

    Barb, You know I am praying for you. Call me if you have any questions! Good luck (and don't forget to have fun!):)


  5. Barb,I'm here for you too, but felt so excited reading your positive vibes. I will be thinking of you, waiting for great news. You will be an awesome mother!XXOO,Roxane


  6. What wonderful news!!!If you haven't already read it, I suggest the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Seriously, I had no idea how my body worked before I read that book. Sex Ed class at age 11 was only about 1% of the info I needed to know to get pregnant.Also, you can be ovluator tests and pregnancy tests in bulk online and save a boatload of money compared to buying them in the store. 🙂


  7. Anonymous says:

    I was just going to suggest that same book, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" – an unbelievable resource – I couldn't believe how much I DIDN'T know. It has helped at least 5 other women with conceiving a child. We happily adopted our two children, but that book is incredible!Good luck, Barb!Kathleen Walsh


  8. Mary says:

    Good luck to you. We adopted through MN Waiting Children's Program so I'd be happy to answer any questions that you would have.


  9. I have no advice to offer, as I'm infertile and marrying someone who doesn't want chilluns, so I've closed that door. But I have to say I'm a shocked and horrified to see that people who are TREATING their depression receive discriminatory treatment! Unbelievable! I'm going to have a discussion about this with a friend who works for a national mental health organization. Arg!But on a positive note, yay!!! I will be praying for you. The little tyke will be so lucky to have a Mommy who tackles her health issues. Proactive, passionate and dedicated–can't get better mommy material than that. 🙂


  10. kristine says:

    Oh Barb! That is wonderful news!! I second what Liz says – be sure to have fun! I'll be thinking of you!!


  11. Marie says:

    Hi Barb,You don't know me, but I've been following your blog for several months. Roxane introduced me to your blog – we have much in common!! I am super excited for you and will add you to my prayers. Good luck!


  12. This was posted awhile ago but I only just read it. Have you considered Ethiopia? I'm on anti-depressants and it wasn't a problem.


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