And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.
–Raymond Carver
Category: Dreams
A New Year’s Wish
May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.
–Neil Gaiman
Be Soft
My parents have been dead a long time. Or not so long. It depends on my mood, how long it seems. My mom died in April 2007, my dad in January 1993. I often wonder what advice they would give me now, about being childless, being disabled and in chronic pain and often frustrated and depressed. Then, by chance, today I came across a quote that spells out what I know in my heart they would both say to me so perfectly, it gave me chills. In fact, I can hear my mom’s voice…
welcome to gingerfancy photography and art!
I’m finally gathering my courage together and taking a few more baby steps towards my new endeavor. My plans are, primarily, to sell photos (still life, nature) online (on this blog, a Facebook page, and a site like Fine Art America) and possibly through Etsy or a similar venue.
I’m not going to be doing weddings or portraits however. My chronic pain problems are so disabling they rule out anything that involves keeping regular appointments and having the energy to do a photo shoot with couples and/or families…I get exhausted just thinking about it! This way, I can take and edit photographs on my good days–or mornings or afternoons–and spend entire days in bed or doing whatever I need to do to take care of myself. If I’m having a fibromyalgia flare and am stuck at home for a week, that’s okay, no appointments to cancel.
Another plus is that this is a way for me to be creative even when I’m too tired and headachy to write. This has been one of my biggest frustrations for years. I haven’t given up on my dream of becoming a writer (although how does one know definitively when one can say “I am a writer”?), but it’s definitely on hiatus right now thanks to my horrid chronic migraines and other headaches.
Speaking of headaches…mine is growing exponentially. I’m going to add a couple of photographs from our mini-vacation to Bayfield and Cornucopia, WI, last week, and leave you with the promise to write more tomorrow.:)
Have a lovely week, my friends!
a poll! i need your help…
I’ve had a number of requests for prints, notecards, etc., for some of my photographs…and who am I to say no? So I have been planning for some time now to start a small fine art photography business, but I can’t decide on a name. My two choices are:
A. Everyday Wonders Photography (everydaywonders is, of course, the name of this blog);
OR
B. Gingerfancy Photography (gingerfancy is my name on Instagram, in honor of my red hair, and it does have a kind of fun kick to it).
So, gentle readers, what do you think? Any strong (or otherwise) feelings one way or the other? Please help! Thank you in advance…
so what now?
Almost a year ago today, I received my Master of Arts in Theology from St. Catherine University in St. Paul, Minnesota. Actually, to be precise, my degree is a Master of Arts in Theology with a Concentration in Spirituality and a Certificate in Pastoral Theology. It took me six years to get that darn degree, thanks to fibromyalgia, bouts of chronic migraine, neck surgery after a car accident, and a quite nasty depression relapse.
Several things sustained me during this time: My husband’s unfailing support; the help and support of the incredible staff and faculty at St. Kate’s; and my belief that I was called, called by God, to pastoral care as a chaplain. I’d worked as a chaplain at the V.A. one summer in 1997 and for part of the previous summer in Oncology and General Medical-Surgical at a hospital in St. Paul. I loved it, loved it, even on the toughest, most exhausting days.
My fibromyalgia kept getting worse in my twenties and forced me to drop out of graduate school and give up on my dream of becoming a chaplain. But by my late thirties, new medications were definitely easing the fibromyalgia pain and I remember telling my mom, before she died, that I was planning to go back and get my M.A., and she was so pleased!
And so I did. But in the end my pain defeats me again..not just fibromyalgia, but myofascial pain syndrome, multiple problems in my cervical spine, chronic migraines (yes, my Botox shots help, but I still get about ten a month). I can’t even volunteer, because I don’t know whether or not I’ll be well enough on any given day to appear when I say I will.
I’m angry. And frustrated. I’m not sorry I got my degree, because I love theology, and the knowledge and skills I gained, nothing–not even fibromyalgia–can take away from me. But I want so badly to use my degree to make a difference in the world, to help others to feel God’s love and mercy. It is so painful to mourn the loss of a dream…and to attempt to discern what God has in mind to take its place.
11 Things People With Chronic Illnesses Need to DO — fabwithfibro
Great list. I think I can handle it. http://themighty.com/2015/12/11-things-people-with-chronic-illnesses-need-to-do/
via 11 Things People With Chronic Illnesses Need to DO — fabwithfibro
Hey fibro friends, I found this on a terrific fibro blog I discovered today, called “Fab with Fibro” (which is what we all want to be, right?); the link is from The Mighty, one of my all-time favorite chronic illness (physical and mental) websites. They have a marvelous newsletter I highly recommend.
Anyway, I’ve been struggling with giving up my long-time dream of being a chaplain. Lots of tears, anger, envy toward the entire world of healthy people who can take any job they want without needing to think twice about health limitations…in other words, loads of grief with a big dose of self-pity mixed in. So when I read this list by The Mighty, it felt as though it was written specifically for me. So I thought I’d share this, with many thanks to fabwithfibro, for those of you who are coming bang up against fibro and other health limitations too.
wordless wednesday
unfulfilled potential
Consult not your fears, but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but what is still possible for you to do. (Pope John XXIII)
Bloggers Unite for Peace
What better way to fight horrific evil than with words? The power of words cannot be denied…evil regimes from time untold have always begun with censorship, from disallowing people of kindness and goodwill to speak the truth of goodness and love. It is right and fitting that we speak out against the horrific deeds of DAESH with words of peace. LOVE ALWAYS WINS IN THE END.
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil
is for good men to do nothing.”
Edmund Burke
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We are normal, everyday hard-working people with a common hobby, blogging. We hail from far and wide. We reside in different lands, on different continents. We speak different languages, eat different foods, and are of varying ages, professions, and religious and cultural backgrounds.
We do have one thing in common…
We believe that terrorist attacks, wherever they may be perpetrated; whether in France, Tunisia, Canada, Iraq, or in Denmark, Turkey, UK, Algeria, Yemen, USA, Lebanon, or in the skies over Egypt, or in India, Saudi Arabia, Australia, Afghanistan, Nigeria, Kuwait, Libya, Bangladesh, Syria, or Mali are nothing less…
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Life is Grace 